Isis- Questions

So many questions!
Questions whose answers tease me with their simplicity!
Questions which come from places within that I cannot fathom yet are familiar to my heart.
Questions which seem to multiply each time one is answered.
Questions which seem to threaten the very fabric of the realm in which I reside.
Questions which seem answered before they are posed yet drive me to the brink of sanity whenever I try to reach for the illusory answer.

I am told questions asked and answered help us grow but I am forced to ask again what if the answer remains non-existent?
What then becomes of she who asks?
Will I suffer a slow a death as my mind wears itself to nothing in the vain attempt to devise an answer?

You see these questions do not seem to propel themselves any further than the confines of my being. and seem to torture me with their multitude.
Each question is aimed at me with the precision and malice of a missile.
Each question seems to take pleasure in the destruction effected on my mind.

What to do when I am the one who appears to be causing the problem?
I fear I am caught in an inescapable vicious cycle for who can save me from myself?
I find myself praying that maybe I am diseased and I may be able to seek refuge in a hospital where doctors can administer mind numbing drugs.
I fear again that this is yet another vain reach for the impossible as these questions appear to be a dialogue between my heart and my soul to which my mind is not privy!!

The noise is steadily becoming more deafening than the day before!
There is no rest for my mind in my sleep.
These questions are as babies who cry in the night to be tended to.
They will not leave me alone!!
Always they are with me!
They cling to my conscious with a life sapping grip and exhaust each thought for any semblance of an answer.
I fear to think as these questions appear from nowhere to scrutinize myself and my new creation.
They taunt me as though they know me while demanding I answer them!

Why?! Why am i constantly harassed?
I fear I may go mad from the lack of privacy.
Always they are with me!
Even when I am able to suppress them I know they are struggling to break to the surface from the depths of my subconscious.
When will I find peace?!
Only one answer seems to follow me wherever I go.
I must accept these questions as part of me.
Only when I stop fighting against their implications will I rob them of their potency.
Only when I welcome them to me will they lose interest in tormenting me so.
Only when I accept the answer that arrived with each question will they finally dissolve.

But how do I accept the cause of all my torment?
How can I accept she who is responsible for the destruction of my home?
How can I accept she who relishes in my anguish?
How can I accept she who saved me?
How can I accept myself?
I ask you to rescue me… Please?